HUMAN2HUMAN

FOR-PROFIT AND DIVIDENDS "Those who do not hate their own selfishness and regard themselves as more important than the rest of the world are blind because the truth lies elsewhere" ~ Blaise Pascal I was recently diagnosed as having Type 2 Diabetes. I went to the Dr. for a regular check-up to get a physical. Pretty routine stuff. He scheduled me to get labs done. I hadn't seen him in a couple years. So it made sense. Saved time so he had the baseline numbers PSA etc.. to work with. Turns out my blood sugar was through the roof - 15 when 5-6.5 A1C is an acceptable number. He said we would treat it with meds first then pursue getting the number done with diet. I thought ok. It was all new to me. I did not even realize that I was looking at diabetes until I asked him what was going on. Later after doing some research, I realized that the Dr. did not even mention exercise or what foods I should eat or other options as far as medication. I did n...

"This is something basic to be understood - the ego must come to a peak, it must be strong, it must have attained an integrity - only then can you dissolve it. A weak ego cannot be dissolved. And this becomes a problem." ~ Rajneesh The ego helped us stay alive as we wandered around the Savannah before we realized we didn’t have to be eaten by lions, tigers, and bears. We could make weapons and protect ourselves. Then tools to plant and harvest. It was necessary so that we could survive. It was crucial for our evolution. If not we would not be here today.  It is not who we are. It is there to help. But like any aspect of the whole, it must be healthy. A healthy ego looks out for us, is full of prospects and it wants to lead the way, to help, but like any determining factor real or imagined, it gets in our way. A healthy ego a well-trained ego well-mastered ego will be our lookout and know its place. But yet it will stop, block and deter when it doubts us. It sta...

Some of us have never had to struggle or have known hunger or want. Some of us have never had to wait online or have applied patience as a virtue. Or some have never known to ration or have done without. As a child, I never went hungry. I never went without. I had everything that a child could want. There were always presents under the Christmas tree and on my birthday. But life is about more than material objects. It is about the power of connection and creativity. That is where I did not receive what I needed. Like many people my age, my father worked shift work at the plant and I rarely saw him. When I did, I feared him. My mother was there but not. She was challenged with taking care of my youngest brother who is special needs to due a fever she had while he was in utero. I think to this day she blames herself for something that was beyond her control. I was there the day she received the letter from the state with the test results that labeled him “retarded”. An a...

JUST BE - THAT'S ALL THERE IS PERIOD! That's all there is to it. Easy but not simple! But how, you ask? How do I just be? Can you be present? Can you quiet your mind? Can you breathe in and then out? Can you be aware of your thoughts? Can you be mindful of your feelings? Can you stop before you act impulsively? You can. I know you can. If I can then you can too. A year and a half ago, I had a Bipolar episode. My anxiety was off the charts -I then went into a depression and it spiraled down and I hit bottom, AGAIN .  I climbed out of the hole eventually. I was fortunate that I have people who care about me. I was trying to be something I was not and when I did not succeed, I got down on myself and it all went to shit. I came off my medication. I could not eat. I could not sleep. I lost thirty pounds. That attack sent my blood sugar soaring. Now, I have that challenge to combat. No worries though. It was the best thing that could happened to me. I got up. I sto...

I was broken. I was damaged. It did not happen all at once. It started with a crack. To this day, I do not know the origin of the fracture, the fault line that slowly tore me apart and left me in pieces.  I spent a lifetime trying to figure out when, how, who, what, and where.  No more, no more. It does not matter. I assembled and united all the disparate parts and pieces and that missing piece that I could not find, space where that piece I thought would make me hole, that space – that is where the light gets in. I am OK with that.  The light that got in illuminated me from within and throughout and purged and cleansed and purified and lifted me up and onto a higher plane of awareness and experience.  What makes music beautiful is not so much the notes as the spaces, rests, pauses – so that we may breathe and value and enjoy the stillness and the emptiness so  that the sound, the light may enter occupy and envelope the fullness of the mag...

Life is hard enough without any further difficulties. Those who struggle with a brain disorder, depression and anxiety have an even harder time because besides dealing with the rough terrain of the every day, we - all of us have an added degree of difficulty. We have an unhinged person in the oval office. Whatever your political leanings, he is making an unstable world that much more tedious to navigate. Personally, I have a hard time finding a way of tuning this craziness out. I am a Humanist and an Optimist, but I do not understand how someone people actually are ok with this and support this person. I care about children at the border, the environment, the LGBTQ community, equal pay for women, Pro-Choice, the poor, the unemployed, increasing the minimum wage, etc.. call me a bleeding-heart liberal if you must. I care what happens to this world.  In the meantime, I struggle to keep a job to pay my bills and take care of those who rely on me while I am trying to create a ...

The other day I was listening to a podcast and they were discussing mental health. The question at hand was - if mental health, or a brain disorder, is caused strictly due to a chemical imbalance? The eventually landed on the idea that it is a combination of chemical imbalance and a person's emotional state. Of course, one's emotional state has a lot of different contributing factors. If a person's emotional state is not steady or stable it tends to fluctuate. Depending on the individual or one's state may cycle rapidly i.e. a person who is Bipolar may go up and down like a roller coaster. A person who is not Neuro-divergent and who is relatively healthy - mentally wise may only have a blip or a mild disappearance throughout their day. Come what may - it is similar to the chicken and the egg paradox. If someone has troubling thoughts, that may cause them to get emotionally upset. Which inturns stirs the cauldron of neurochemistry causing one to enter a state that...

Sometimes through no fault of their own, some people become Mystics. From a life-altering event, a disease, a struggle beyond imagining, a death, an insight, or a dream. Whatever the case - a change happens. The determining factor is suffering. To experience and live in a state of bliss, first, you have to spend some time in hell. It either destroys you or tempers you into a strong yet flexible weapon of truth and righteousness. Those of us that are wired a little different from the rest are challenged with the rough terrain of every day due to a chemical imbalance not taking our meds, not eating or sleeping right, let alone self-medicating - life can be a real challenge. If not life-threatening. My name is Jeff Turnbull. I am a Survivor. I have battled demons and monsters all my life. It was not until later in life that I could name them - Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder- I. I did a lot of work on myself. I am here to share with you what I have learned. I do my best to...