EGO- I MUST SURVIVE AT ALL COST!

"This is something basic to be understood - the ego must come to a peak, it must be strong, it must have attained an integrity - only then can you dissolve it. A weak ego cannot be dissolved. And this becomes a problem." ~ Rajneesh

The ego helped us stay alive as we wandered around the Savannah before we realized we didn’t have to be eaten by lions, tigers, and bears. We could make weapons and protect ourselves. Then tools to plant and harvest. It was necessary so that we could survive. It was crucial for our evolution. If not we would not be here today. 

It is not who we are. It is there to help. But like any aspect of the whole, it must be healthy. A healthy ego looks out for us, is full of prospects and it wants to lead the way, to help, but like any determining factor real or imagined, it gets in our way. A healthy ego a well-trained ego well-mastered ego will be our lookout and know its place. But yet it will stop, block and deter when it doubts us. It stands in the way blocks our way. It will tell us to go ahead you got this then turn around and pull the rug out from under us. You can be determined as hell. Done your homework. Do a risk assessment apply reason and logic and the scientific method and still, the ego will look for a reason, away, to try and gum up the works.

I know I have been there. I had low esteem and struggled with depression. Maybe my ego wasn’t healthy because I wasn’t. But I tried. Still, I would get up a head of steam and feel strong and confident and then that little voice back in the corner of mind would whisper - yeah sounds good but you will fuck it up! But, by all means, go ahead…

The closer I got to my objective my target the louder the voice would become. Some call it self-sabotage. Some don’t know what they are talking about. Who would spend time spend resources to pursue a lifetime dream or passion only to let some phantom in the shadows shit talk them out of existence? Who? Confidence, consciousness, mindfulness, awareness, these are all things or aspects that a healthy has integrated into being. They were either raised right given what was needed and challenged where it was needed. They were cultivated, appreciated, loved, understood and loved.

The unhealthy self - with an unhealthy ego says - sure go for it, you will probably fuck it up anyhow, if you do you can always blame someone else, take someone else’s or walk away and don’t give a shit, who really cares anyway..

The ego has been called the enemy. I think it is more of a frenemy. The healthier you are the more friendly it becomes and less of an adversary. No need to be aways at odds. It kept us alive this long. Like an ignorant relative they just need to be filled in and borough up to speed. I am in charge and if I want your advice I will ask, otherwise how are you? I am fine.

I must survive at all costs. But not at the cost of my principles or virtue. You see being healthy is just not about the status of your physical body but also your mind. I would add your character. What do you stand for? Would it drive you? What makes you tick? Why do you get up each morning? What can you not not do? 

Who are you behind your persona your mask? Are you who you present to the world at large? No? What if your ego helped you put on a good face and you through a difficult day and steered you right and kept you going when you had nothing left to give but you had to get there, and then you did? What then?

The use of the term animal spirit on wall street to describe was is going on is going up a Bull market or down a Bear market. What if a person’s animal spirit is their ego? We had to stay alive - we were wild animals once. What kept us going? There are two errors we could make wandering around the plains and deserts - one think the noise in the bush is just the wind and we are wrong and get eaten, two we think the noise in the bushes is a lion and we run for our lives and it was just the wind. Which error is worse - we get eaten or we manage a degree of anxiety and stay alive? 

The ego wants us to believe that everything is a lion in the bushes to keep us alive. The problem is that the ego has become obsolete. If so will our intuition Suffice? What if they are inexplicably linked and we get rid of the ego? What then? Are they one and the same. Maybe the ego is intuitions evil twin?

If you are ever done any entertaining or public speaking that takes a degree of ego. To get up in front of five thousand people and tell a story or play and sing a song, you better be channeling your animal spirit. Be a Bull charge right out there and do your thing embrace life and all that it has to offer and run head down horns up for all you got. If not why not?

If my ego wants to write and publish this treatise, I guess I will let it. If not it will tell me - go ahead, no one is going to read it anyway.. To which I say - I will for I must, I can not write and share it, it may help someone else survive and stay alive.

That voice in our head is just that a voice. Like anything or anyone that wants to offer to advise - solicited or not - listen if you want, take want you to want and use it, or tune it out. You know what your mother used to say about someone who tried to get your goat. Just ignore them and they will go away!

JEFF TURNBULL